JJ The Rat
By Michael Aaronson
Introduction
Once upon a time there was a rat. That rat’s name was JJ. This stood for nothing. He was brown and had long whiskers, which aided him in his stealthy pursuit of flesh.
So once, JJ got hired by another rat. His name was Worker Rat. Worker Rat gave JJ a job to get food and sell it to the butcher shop in the sewer.
Day One
It was day one on the job for JJ and he had to go to a farm run by Philip the human, known as Farmer Philip. It was a risky job but he would get a lot of money. Philip was a chicken farmer and was fat, and short, like a pot-bellied dwarf. Philip’s guards were dogs and they were easy to get around. So JJ got blueberries and put sleeping powder in them and went to Chicken House #1. The sleeping powder was used to put the dogs to sleep. He killed two chickens by ripping their necks off and ran to the sewer, dragging one fat bird at a time. In the sewer, JJ sold the chickens for one hundred rat dollars each.
Day Two
JJ was woken from a call from the butcher shop. “JJ, please get four ducks from Farmer Philip.”
“Ok,” said JJ, and he thought that was a good choice. But the ducks were guarded by a man with a pitchfork shotgun. So rather than dealing with snarling dogs, JJ had to get around the guard.
The pitchfork shotgun man’s name was Henchy. Henchy was fifty years old and had a bad back, red eyes, white skin, blue overalls, bad hair and long arms. He also had mismatched pupils. His weakness was his back and he couldn’t bend down. So JJ knew he had to move fast and make him drop his pitchfork shotgun so he could kill the ducks (he killed the ducks by biting the neck and pulling the eyeballs out) put them in the bag, and run.
Henchy: “They will never get away. No one can get past me. Oh my back!”
So JJ did that and got the ducks and sold them to the market for $170 each and got a total of $680 dollars. Then he went to the grocery store in the sewer, bought sour raspberries, and went home.
Day Three
JJ woke up happy until he found out that he’d been moved positions at the butcher shop. He was promoted from food supplier to food chopper. It happened because Worker Rat overheard JJ bragging to some rat kids about his day and how he bit the ducks. Worker Rat knew that the secret would get out. JJ got paid more money but it was no fun doing the chopping job. But he took the job because he had to.
The first thing he had to do was chop chickens into small bits by using a big hammer (like this).
He cut them up good, real good. Even though he cut the chickens up good, he didn’t feel good inside; he felt hatred in his bones, so he went to get apple juice because apple juice made him feel… good.
So after work he snuck to Farmer Philip’s farmhouse and to the cellar to get some freshly squeezed apple juice. But the apple juice was guarded by this huge robot that looks like this —
So JJ knew he had to find the switch on the panel, flip it, grab the button that opens the cellar, grab a jar and run home, drink it, go to the bathroom, and throw the jar in the trash. He did that and it looks like this –
In all, today was weird for JJ.
Day Four
Today JJ had a weird experience and I will tell you why. JJ woke up with a rough start. The butcher called and the boss said, “JJ, we decided that we don’t need you anymore. We transferred you to the supermarket to be a supplier.” Line clicks. JJ thought “at least I hunt again.” So this time he took a tunnel through the sewer to the supermarket.
From the supermarket storeroom boss, JJ is assigned to get ten jugs of apple juice from Farmer Philip. So JJ gets to Philip’s farm but realizes that Philip upgraded his security. He put ten snipers next to the cellar and added two more robots (they look like this) –
So JJ got a plan and this is how it happened –
Zoom in for best details. If you can’t figure it out, here are some clues: see how JJ has decimated both robots! He ran into their earholes and around and around in their brains to slow the cogs to a standstill.
He took his rat-sized jugs with him, opened up a jar and filled them up. JJ got the juice and ran away, past the dead robots. JJ had a few jugs hanging from his belt, a big jug in a backpack, and several hand jugs and even balanced a jug on his head as he sauntered out of the robot room.
Day Five
You know how in Day Four JJ ran away? This is what the boss thought of the job.
So JJ’s rating is at a bad 35% out of 100! So JJ needed to get a 50% on this next job so that he does not get fired.
JJ woke up late at 10:00 in the morning to a call from the supermarket. The supermarket needed him to get one chicken. JJ thought that perhaps Farmer Philip had not upgraded his security around the chicken shack. Or so JJ thought he did not. But he had – he had added a sniper.
So the same plan with the blueberries with sleeping powder. Here is the plan he made (look on the side with the check to find out what he should have done).
But when he was getting a chicken his whisker got shot off. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::← Blurred for your safety! But JJ got himself and the chicken out of there.
Day Six
JJ woke up. But he felt different. JJ thought he was dreaming. He usually had two whiskers balancing his head, but at this time he only had one (read last day to find out what happened if you didn’t already). Hmmm, he thought, I wonder how long it will take to grow a new one? Or, will they have to solder a new one on my snout?
When he woke up all of the doctors and nurses at the rat hospital cheered. “He woke up,” said one. Another, the coroner rat, was disappointed because he was hoping to inspect JJ’s body if he had died.
As JJ lay in the hospital, he had visions of retiring. He was tired of working for someone else and stealing. He decided it would be better to have his own family farm. He would need to get married and have some kids to work at the family farm. But we won’t tell you about the romance part because most kids don’t like to hear it. So instead we’ll tell you the rest of the story… .
After this experience, JJ went to the butcher shop and said “I’m going to retire, so give me my paycheck now.” JJ got his paycheck and went home.
JJ moved to the countryside and bought a small farm. He got wood and started building a farmhouse.
He had little money left so he bought Instant Plant, which makes plants grow instantly.
As JJ went to sleep that first night, he thought about all of the wonderful things that were going to happen.
THE END