Why Shoes Don’t Belong With Dogs
Oh no, oh no, no please! Aargh! My owner, Josh, stepped into me. Apparently, we were going for a walk. I hate, absolutely hate, when Josh leaves the house because that means I have to go with him and be stepped on for hours and hours. He always wears socks with holes, which means I can feel his cold, smelly feet against my body. If you can’t tell, I am a left foot shoe and my name is Kenny. My friend, Benny over there, is Josh’s right shoe. We have been together our entire life and it all started when a tall, brown-haired young man bought us from Dick’s Sporting Goods…
and took us home. We are black and red Nike shoes with a black Nike swoosh, size 11. Josh lives alone with his two crazy dogs, Blue, a golden retriever and Moose, a Muddy River dachshund. Moose and Blue love chewing on me and Benny and Josh never seems to mind, he just slips me on carelessly (even though I have a chunk missing from my collar, and the lining is coming out, and the damage extends almost all the way to my moustache). Although Josh lives alone, trust me, his house is always a party. Let me tell you, he’s got a lot of friends. Then one day, Benny and I ended up in the trash. Let me tell you all about my crazy adventure. It all started when Josh had about ten of his friends over.
“It’s so loud in here,” I told Benny.
“Kenny, we are already used to this by now.”
We were placed by a wall right besides the door, where Josh always puts us. That day, a Saturday, so many people were coming in and out, toting coolers for soda and beer, and the door was left wide open. I could tell Moose was eyeing the open door, looking back and forth between it and I. Moose carefully nudged Blue who had been peacefully asleep. In a flash, I was in Moose’s slobbery mouth with my mudguard down, while Benny was in Blue’s mouth, grabbed by his heel notch, and we were racing out the door and down the street.
“Kenny!” Benny yelled, looking over, covered in Blue’s saliva.
“I’m here!” I yelled back to Benny. The sun shone bright in my eyelets and beat down on us. We raced down the street and past the town houses into the middle of town where all the shops were filled with customers and the street was busy. Blue and Moose did not stop for them, however, dodging a black truck and then a red jeep. In the middle of the road, Blue and Moose ran as fast as lightning and we were heading to the busiest street in town. That is when I realized we were heading for the dog park, the worst possible place there could be for Benny and me. We raced down Main Street and cars were honking like crazy, swerving to get to where they were going.
About 20 feet away was the gate to the dog park and I saw Benny and Blue racing towards the closed gate. I closed my eyes and yelled “WATCH OUT!!!” hoping they would stop before crashing into the gate. When I opened my eyes, I saw Blue taking a humongous jump; he leapt right over the fence without a problem! However, Moose was slowing down and we were stuck outside the dog park, where the satanic odor was immediately perceptible (I have a sensitive tongue). “Benny!” I yelled.
Just as Moose and I were about to head off down the sidewalk, a golden doodle and its owner swung open the gate, not even noticing Moose at all. With an excited dash, Moose flew into the dog park, catching up to Blue in a split second. Darn it.
“Kenny! You made it! I’m so glad I’m not alone anymore!” yelled Benny, held by only a corner of his heel, his laces dragging dangerously near the soiled ground.
“Well, now you don’t have to get chewed on all by yourself,” I replied, rolling my eyelets at him.
At the sight of a tennis ball, Moose opened his mouth and just left me sitting there, unwatched, and before I knew it, two bulldogs were sniffing and licking me all over. Soon came a cockapoo, a small puppy who sat on me. Even worse, a brown lab and a chocolate lab came racing over and before I knew it, they were taking a bathroom break right on top of me. “Ewww! Benny! Help!” I yelled. No answer. Then two dogs came and sat on me because of the smell of the labs’ bathroom gunk. I have got to get out of here, I thought to myself. Surely, Josh would have realized both his shoes and dogs were gone, right? I hoped so.
“We will be here forever!” I yelled at Benny who was halfway across the dog park. Only about several minutes later, when I was feeling like I wouldn’t make it out alive, the dog park gate swung open again. Moose came back and bit me on my vamp, right where the dog had peed on me. Would my perfectly clean black and red body ever be the same again? I looked at myself and noticed that I my lovely white rubber outsole was entirely covered with mud which stained it brown; a little wet circle where the dogs had done their business was sticky and … hellish. I will never be able to get that off. Blue and Kenny followed not far behind.
Both Moose and Blue sprinted towards the open gate. “Finally!” I said to Benny who was now right beside me: “they are tired of this place too!” As I was finally both happy and relieved to be heading home, Blue and Moose took a turn and I knew exactly where they were heading: the second worst place in the world.
Let me tell you, Blue and Moose LOVE ice cream. Maybe even more than a bee likes honey. Last time we were at the ice cream store, we did not have a good time. Josh had to drag, and I literally mean, drag, Blue and Moose away from the tubs of ice cream. Oh boy, now were we in for a treat. It may be hard to believe, but these two dogs were able to trash the entire ice-cream store. From making dog bite marks in the ice-cream, to covering their entire body in ice cream, these dogs were unstoppable. Blue and Moose have been known to take full bins of ice cream from the freezer at home without Josh noticing. They are quite some sneaky dogs.
The doors of the store were always left opened, considering they wouldn’t think dogs would just stroll right in. The ice cream store was only half full which was unusual since most days, every seat was taken. I was ready to wait in the line that was out the door when I realized that I was still in Moose’s mouth. Dogs didn’t know how to wait in line, or could they even? I was right. I should have known they would do the same thing as last time when they were here. Customers and workers started to get up from their seats and shoo out the two dogs. Blue and Moose jumped onto the seat next to the ice cream machine and then jumped onto the counter top and went straight for the huge tubs of ice cream. After dodging the customers who tried to grab their collars, one of the workers tried to pick Moose up. Crunch. After the bite, the worker let out a loud scream and all the attention was turned to her. This left Blue’s actions unnoticed as he dove for the open tubs of ice cream. Rainbow sherbet was his favorite, so of course he went for that one. It took a second before all the workers and the customers were both trying to grab Blue’s whole snout and half his head out of the big gallon bin. Of course Benny and I were dropped on the floor in the chaotic mess. Before I knew it, all the workers, wearing bright blue aprons and ice cream cone-shaped hats, were stepping on and over me to drag Blue and Moose down from the counter. Thankfully, Blue and Moose picked me and Benny up. I am glad Blue and Moose didn’t forget us because I would rather be going back to Josh’s dirty and stinky foot than to be thrown away by the ice cream shop workers and go down with those icky containers and disgusting napkins with human slobber all over them. All the customers and kids were staring; some of the babies even started crying.
Soon an animal control truck pulled up. A man jumped out of the driver’s seat and walked back to the cage. The first thing I noticed was that he was wearing a throw-up green (my least favorite color) jumpsuit and was bald. The ice cream shop workers had finally let go of Blue’ and Moose’s collars to hand them over and I wondered why hadn’t they just called the number on the collar. Too late for that now. As the man from the animal shelter was reaching for them, Blue and Moose made a run for it. I guess that is what they were barking about: a plan. Blue and Moose were really fast dogs and I could feel the wind in my shoelaces and streaming through my perforation vents. I heard the truck following closely behind but I kept cheering on Moose and Blue because I did not want to be stuck in a cage at the animal shelter, or even worse, thrown away into a dumpster, with dead animals? As we were rounding the corner, Blue and Moose took a sharp turn and ran back the other way, losing the truck because he had no way of turning fast enough and following. And then, we were heading to the final stop on Blue and Moose’s list… .
Back at home, Josh was down in the basement playing video games with his guy friends while the girls were on the couch watching a movie.
“Josh can you bring us some sodas?” asked Jenny who was lying on the couch.
“Of course,” Josh replied heading up the stairs to the kitchen. “Blue! Moose! Come here boys! Want some treats?” yelled Josh. No reply. “That’s weird. Blue! Moose!” Josh shouted again, making kissing noises and clapping. Now, Josh was a little confused because no way the craziest dogs in town would give up a chance to get treats! Josh picked up six cans of Sprite from the refrigerator and took them downstairs. “Have you guys seen Blue or Moose? They don’t even want treats!” Josh asked, handing out sodas to some of his friends. But everyone was too distracted doing their own things, only giving Josh a “thanks” for the soda. “Josh, quickly! We need you! Get back in the game!” yelled George, another one of Josh’s friends.
“Gotta go guys! Feel free staying for a bit, but if you leave, lock the doors,” Josh said heading out with his car keys. He felt safe leaving his house to his friends, knowing they probably wouldn’t destroy it since this was basically their hangout spot; they hung out there almost every day.
As we turned the corner, Blue and Moose were sprinting to somewhere I don’t think I had ever been.
“Benny, where are we going?” I asked. But at that moment I saw a flash of a car through the gaps of the houses.
“Kenny, you saw that too right?” asked Benny. It really was! Josh’s car was just on the street over and I was determined for him to see us. But at this point, Blue and Moose were racing faster than ever and I had no way to tell them to find Josh. Good thing was that we were headed in the same direction as Josh.
“Kenny, we have to make Josh see us,” said Benny. Perfect timing. There was a red light and Josh had stopped at it. Slowly, Blue and Moose were stopping as well-they probably recognized Josh’s car! A second later, Josh was up and out of his car dashing towards us.
“JOSH!!” I yelled even though I knew he wouldn’t hear me because, well, I’m a shoe. Again, cars were honking and swerving out of the way making sure not to hit, this time, the crazy-looking boy running across the street. First a red car came by yelling “MOVE YOUR CAR!” and then a white car yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“Blue! Moose!” Josh yelled, relieved as he slowed to a stop. “Come on boys, what were you doing?” Blue and Moose followed Josh back into the car, which was still in the middle of the street. The whole way home, all the talking came from Josh who was saying, “where did you go?”, “what were you thinking?”, “why did you take my shoes?” and “you missed out on some treats…”. When we finally pulled back up to Josh’s house, his friends were still there. Josh didn’t seem too mad at Blue and Moose, just relieved he found them.
Josh took one look at Benny and me, and picked us up. I was so happy to finally be back in Josh’s hands. “Finally! What a long day,” I said to Benny. Holding me by the toe tip and pee-stained vamp, and Bennie by one eyestay, he carried us outside to the top of the driveway right near the garbage can. “Well, I can’t wear you guys anymore,” Josh said, tossing us into the garbage can. “NOOOOOO!!!” Benny and I yelled in unison. And then the lid came crashing down and it went dark.
THE END