Earliest Memories
When I was 2-4 years old, still a little toddler learning to talk and control my body, I remember following my sisters and mom up the stairs, climbing them 1 by 1. I remember seeing a beautiful sight, a blue baby trampoline with cartoonish bees and flowers, any baby’s dream. I remember holding onto the handrail with blue foam to protect my hands from the hard cold metal. I remember holding onto it and jumping. It was the best and funnest thing I had done at the time. I also remember my siblings and parents taking photos and videos like the paparazzi.
Another memory I still have was a bad one. It was a bad time. I had been playing with my food and got it in my hair, so my mom would need to wash it off at the sink, but as it happened, I turned and twisted and hit my head on the sink. I couldn’t feel anything, but I could still remember my mom’s horrified look which made me start to cry. As it was late, my oldest sister and my mom rushed me to the hospital. At the time I couldn’t understand what they were saying to the doctors, but I can remember them putting me on a tiny table, strapping me up, and with tools in their hands started to do something to my head. It might had been stitches but I still haven’t asked. To this day it will remain a mystery (until I remember to ask).
I had a nightmare when I was a kid – this was before we moved to our current house – I fell asleep and entered into a dream state and saw the entire house. My head would get really hot – I would zoomed in closely to the house and then zoom out. This was a recurring experience. I wasn’t sick. It was different than a normal dream. I felt like I could actually touch stuff, walking around and controlling everything, like opening doors and looking inside – but the funny thing was the house was always empty. No-one was around. It was basically a lucid dream but as a nightmare. The dream was always the same but it also felt like a fever dream as my entire body hurt even though the next morning I wouldn’t be sick. The nightmares never really had a topic but it always felt like it had some random reason I had it.
About when I was 4 or 5 I remember going to the little baby swing set in my backyard with my best friend Michael. I remember us playing hide and seek. That time I was hiding. I remember going down and hiding under the baby slide next to the swings. And there I saw a beautifully crafted bird’s nest. I had to take a quick peek and as I looked, I saw about 3-4 baby bird eggs. I called Michael over and we both admired it. It was a once in a lifetime sight and we both stared at it for minutes. After that day I would keep checking until one day it had been a few weeks since I checked and all I found were some shells. To this day I don’t know if they had a horrible fate or if they flew off happily. I didn’t see any blood or any signs of bad things, so I still hope they flew away.
Another memory I recall is one with ups and downs. It was my birthday party when I turned 7. That time I just chose to play at home with friends. We did the usual things like playing and swimming and eating pizza and cake. It was fun and exciting. But by the end with just two friends left we played on a couch and my two friends would fight for fun, but the only problem was… I was under them. As my mom was chatting with their moms in the kitchen I was suffocating under my friends, and to make it even worse they were knocking the air out of my lungs as they fought. Every second made me panic even more, every second made it harder to breathe, every second made me more scared as it had already been 30 seconds under my friends as they were also too invested in playing. Skip 20 more seconds and I already had almost passed out, but luckily, they had finally finished playing. I just got my first breath in more than 50 seconds. I cried loudly, so loudly my parents could hear from more than 20 meters away everyone rushed to me making sure I was safe. Luckily, I was, but I was very scared and terrified after it.